It’s a common trope in pop psychology for people to believe that it’s unhealthy to suppress their anger. That anger, bottled up, is terrible for you and will result in poor health or an inevitable explosion when all that condensed rage explodes outward like a supernova.
The word “suppress” here gives away the game. What happens, exactly, with your anger when you don’t express it? Does it go somewhere? Maybe it’s in your spleen! (People actually believed this at one point. I’m inclined to believe that the spleen is a fake organ and doesn’t even actually exist. Just look at the name.) There’s not a special reservoir of anger in danger of bursting if you don’t let it spray out into the world — you’re just an angry person.
Maybe you’ve got some reasons to be angry. They might seem like really good reasons. But here’s the truth: being angry is a habit. Do you know people who shrug off, or don’t even notice, stuff that drives you crazy? Of course you do. If you don’t, look around you the next time you’re trapped in gridlock traffic. Not everyone is foaming at the mouth. Some people just aren’t bothered by it. Others are in the habit of freaking out. Most of us are somewhere in between.
Boiling hot water will give you a terrible burn if you dip your hand in it. (Do not try this. Just trust me.) That’s universally true. It doesn’t matter what your state of mind is. Boiling water will burn you. Situations that “cause” anger aren’t the same. There’s no single situation that makes everyone angry. In fact, there are some situations that make one person angry and delight another. (Ask anyone involved in S&M, or just Google it, but don’t use your work computer.) This tells us that anger is relative, subjective, and personal.
It also tells us that there’s some choice involved. You can learn not to be upset in traffic. The first step is not to put yourself in situations where you need to be somewhere faster than you can conceivably arrive there. No rush, no anger. Another helpful step is to understand that you’re not in control of almost anything. If you can’t make the traffic move faster, what good does shouting at it do? Finally, and I think this is the most important part, recognize that getting angry is something you do because you’re used to doing it. It’ll be hard at first, just like breaking any other habit is hard. Pick something small, and practice being calm and nonchalant about it no matter what. The first time you’re calm in bad traffic it might not last long, but if you keep after it you’ll find that eventually it just goes away.
What I really want to emphasize here is that when you establish a habit, you get better at doing the thing that has become habitual. You’re in the habit of tying your shoes. I bet you’re a lot better at it now than you were when you were six. The same is true of anger. If you spend lots and lots of time getting angry you’ll get better at being angry, which means that you’ll get angry faster and you’ll get more angry when you do.
So no, suppressing your anger won’t make your head explode. Learning to stop being angry will make you a less angry person. Unless you want to be angry all the time, in which case — have at it.